STEP TWO:
DEPROGRAMMING WHITENESS
Whiteness: An Autopsy
As better elders, we acknowledge that:
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as white people, our ancestors inevitably include enslavers, colonizers, Nazis and bigots---as well as healers, educators and freedom fighters---we cannot escape this stark duality. It feels good to acknowledge that your own inheritance is strife with harm.
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despite all of the tremendous efforts of Black and brown leaders, organizers and activists to organize us into a better society, we white-bodied people have purposefully stood in the way of change, by protecting our individual power, wealth and—ultimately—the tenets taught to us within white supremacy culture (Okum).
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white people's cognitive dissonance is deeply racist. By failing to fully commit ones' life to resolving big civic problems like houselessness, opioid addiction, climate change that most violently affects Black, brown and Indigenous communities, white people passively legitimize the eugenic belief that capitalism is a legitimate way to determine who in society should starve, be unhoused, and be brutally policed.
We are interested in breaking white people out of their cultish commitments to white supremacy culture, that ultimately keep them behaving in their own worst interest, and in the worst interest of our planet, our society, our neighbor’s interests and our futures. We believe that this work is centered in white people learning how to believe that they deserve more than what capitalism offers—and therefore to recognize the cruelty and unacceptability of what capitalism offers Black and brown communities—and also how to experience accountability and hold space for their own flaws, guilt, and change.
We orchestrate healing abolitionist practice for white people–this often means we are teaching white people how to be in community for the first time. To do this, the current generation of white people needs to step into the responsibility of a full ‘whiteness’ accountability practice that is committed to liberation, abolition and abundance—and then take their commitments, wisdom and support around abolition and the deconstruction of white supremacy and offer it to younger generations—thereby making us better elders than what we ourselves experienced.
We believe that white people continue to be invested in our own supremacy because we long to be part of a beloved community and our deepest experience in community is inclusion in white supremacy culture. Since the racial formation of ‘whiteness’ in the past few hundred years, ‘whiteness’ has been the main fixture of belonging for white people—it is time to develop a community practice amongst white people that is as committed to abolition, liberation and abundance as our Black and brown civil rights elders have shown us is necessary. Better Elders is attempting to be that community. We are called Better Elders to acknowledge that in many Indigenous, Black and brown communities, generations of abolitionists have raised up, supported, guided and loved new generations of people in the tradition of fighting for liberation. It is time for white people to stand up unabashedly in solidarity with our neighbors.
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So, how do you diagnose your current relationship with your 'whiteness; accurately?
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We can use Dr. Barnor Hesse's "8 White Identities" to guide us.
Which "identity" below describes you best, before your "Deprogramming Whiteness" journey?
Better Elders believes the most critical work that we can be focusing on is deprogramming white moderates and white liberals from internalized white supremacy thinking. This means that we work with folks who begin their process at any of the following stages: white voyeurism, white privilege, white benefit, white confessional, white critical and white traitor. Our graduates should all be moving towards becoming white traitors and white abolitionists. We do not currently support deprogramming for white supremacists, although we hope that we will be able to expand our programming to include white supremacists by 2025.
Deprogramming Whiteness: Our Four Key Frameworks
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Whiteness + Addiction
Better Elders thinks about whiteness as a kind of public health crisis that needs interventions similar to "harm reduction". It can be very difficult to let go of something that feels good in instances (in this way, substances and whiteness are the same), but ultimately only damages every aspect and relationship of your life. This is why BE is a community that treats people leaving 'whiteness' as if they are in recovery.
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Whiteness + Cult Thinking
People experience tremendous difficulty leaving a cult, because cults have isolated people from any other community. This is why Better Elders creates a kind of welcoming community to make the 'deprogramming process' less debilitating.
We use the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control.
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Whiteness + Restorative Justice
White people destructing 'whiteness' will not only uncover a lifetime of regrettable harm but we will also inevitably make mistakes in the deprogramming process that continue to cause harm. Because of whiteness' relationship to policing and prisons, white people rarely develop a human understanding of harm, accountability, redemptive action and change, which is why it is central to our process (and why a commitment to abolition is central to the whiteness healing process).
We use Racial Equity Tools' restorative justice resources.
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Whiteness + Origin Story
The racial formation of 'whiteness' only occurred in the last few centuries, as a political and economic project. It does not begin to offer spiritual or historical richness to any individual's understanding of their lineage. We train white people to map their origin stories (all white people are immigrants on our continent) and find belonging and identity within them. An origin story can include a rich folkloric ethnic history like Slavic or Nordic histories, religious histories like Judaism, or contemporary realities (like geography) or a value system (like abolition).
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We use tools like Ancestry.com to map participant family trees.
Ready to go deeper? Sign up for Better Elder's inaugural cohort.
Our work isn't about "feeling ashamed" to be white---it's about being honest about what whiteness, in the hands of our ancestors and of ourselves, preserves....suffering. Our work is about honesty, vulnerability, accountability, and the pleasure and deep connection and friendship that is generated once whiteness stops being a core identity.
White People, Already Deprogramming:
There is a precious community of white people who have already begun the process of deeply deprogramming from whiteness; support them on social media, read their writing, and join the community.
Recommended Books
About Whiteness and Racial Formation
Whiteness was created as an economic and political identity in the last few hundred years. It benefited wealthy and powerful white-bodied people who needed to generate an army of individuals willing to protect their wealth and their power. But don't take our word for it; dig deeper, with the texts below!